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Peacekeeping Vs Peacemaking- What's the Difference?

Being at peace with everyone seems impossible and at the very least, improbable. It hurts to not feel at peace with everyone, because we want to be liked (and drama free) right? It doesn't feel good when relationships go badly. 

But this goes deeper than being liked or eliminating drama. It's about growing into mature people of God. That's why Paul, in Romans 12:18 encourages us to ...do everything possible on your part to live in peace with everybody. 

This is actually encouraging to me, because I may honestly do everything I feel is humanly possible, but still not achieve resolution- or even reconciliation in some cases. 

Unfortunately these things aren't always possible, but a transformation of our own hearts and the practice of maturing as a peacemaker is...

...because we can only control ourselves and our behavior, 
no matter what the other person does.

(insert big sigh here. Okay 2 big sighs) 

There's a big difference between peacekeepers & peacemakers.

Signs of a Peacekeeper
(Hint: Reactive)
  • Avoids conflict at all costs, sweeping issues under the rug until it inevitably blows sky high.
  • Runs from a problem, pretending it doesn’t exist. (or spiritualizing it away) 
  • Acts like they want peace, while really rejecting the person in their heart.
  • May verbally slam a person to the ground, then walk away. They've said their peace.
  • When there's confrontation, they may go after the person instead of going after a solution.
  • May use tactics like condemning, belittling, comparing, labeling, insulting, condescension or sarcasm. May be passive-aggressive with their behavior. This is about power and control.
  • Makes up their mind even before the conversation has started. I am right, you are wrong.
  • Does not consider that they may be part of the problem.
  • Acts humble, but really in the end it's more to do with being right than loving well.
  • Focuses more on the disagreement than on reconciling the relationship.
  • Problem? What problem? Denial is king. (worth repeating)

Signs of a Peacemaker 
(Hint: Active)
  • Deals head on with issues. Jesus, the Prince of Peace, was never afraid of conflict. 
  • Sets aside their pride for the sake of the relationship. Asks "what can I do" before "here's what you need to do."
  • Listens first, seeks to understand, speaks second.
  • Brings problems to the table to have an open, honest dialogue in the spirit of harmony. 
  • Does not appease for a fake peace, but rather cooperates instead of competing or fighting.
  • Not afraid to do the hard work. Willing to put in the time and effort it takes.
  • Doesn't make excuses or shift the blame. Owns their part of the problem. Seeks forgiveness if needed.
  • Pursues the heart first, even if there's no resolution.
  • Lets go of their right to win... or even be right. Embraces humility.
  • Realizes that we won't always agree, but we can pursue love and honor anyway.

Check out these verses to see what God thinks of being a peacemaker. Notice how all of these are action words: (emphasis mine)


Matthew 5:9 says 
You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are and your place in God’s family. (MSG) 

or put another way... 

God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God. (Same verse, NLT) 

James 3:18 states
And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace 
and reap a harvest of righteousness. (NLT) 

I Peter 3:11 encourages us to
Search for peace, and work to maintain it. (NLT) 

Mark 9:50
Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again? Have salt among yourselves, and be at peace with each other. (NLT) 

Philippians 2: 1-2 says
If you’ve gotten anything at all out of following Christ, if his love has made any difference in your life, if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you . . . Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends. (MSG)

Who can do this perfectly? Not us, that's for sure! We are woefully human, generally stubborn and want our way.

But Jesus gave us a perfect example to follow.
He didn't work to create a false peace, to cover up, to pretend.
He lived authentically, listening closely and obeying the voice of His Father.

He lived His life to the glory of the Father, practicing perfect love, knowing that false peace was no peace at all. He knew only perfect peace could be found in the Father, by following His will and way. 

He knew that if we found true peace in the Father, with the Spirit's help, we could pursue peace with one another.

So let us do all we can on our parts to pursue peace with one another, preferring one another, lifting each other up in Godly love.

Let us work to be peacemakers, not merely peacekeepers.

Let's prove we care more about one another than winning the argument.

Romans 14:19
Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.











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