Michelle Renee Speaks

Recently I wrote about something that is near and dear to my heart: ministry spouses.  Being one myself, I've observed how people often are unsure how to relate to them, so I offered a few tips in my new blog post called 5 Ways to Love Your Pastor's Spouse .   (click on the title to read)  This is not a comprehensive list by any means, but a good start... and really, these are things anyone would appreciate! How do you honor your pastor's spouse? I would love to hear about it!

Today I spent some time deadheading my petunias- again . It seems like the hotter the summer gets, the more I have to pull those dead blooms off these plants, otherwise they look pathetic. I've learned that if I don't do this, the plant doesn't thrive and grow new and bigger blooms.  It's a tedious job, often time consuming- and sticky-  and I don't particularly enjoy it.  So it is with our lives. We need those dead things pulled off in order to grow, to thrive, to bloom. Carry enough of those dead things around and we get weighed down. The process is  tedious, time-consuming, often sticky and unpleasant. I don't particularly enjoy it!  Life gets hotter than we'd like at times, and the heat can wilt our hearts, causing things we need to let go ... to die.  This feels bad, it hurts and it's hard! Sometimes the process seems like it goes on and on . But in the end it will bear greater things when we continue to choose growth in courage, ...

Have not I commanded you? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, nor afraid or discouraged: for the Lord your God is with you  wherever  you go.  -Joshua 1:9 One of my favorite scenes in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy is when Eowyn (a woman of royalty) looks at Meriadoc (a.k.a. Merry)- about to embark on the biggest battle Middle Earth has ever seen- and says "Courage Merry...you ride with me." She sweeps him off his feet and on to her horse and ride off into battle. You can just see the courage rise up within him as he makes the decision of a lifetime. Although a small and untrained hobbit who has made his share of mistakes along his journey, he decides to choose courage in the face of most certain death.  The stakes were high and he knew it. Sometimes as humans, we forget to choose courage. We look around at our circumstances and wonder how we ever got ourselves into this mess.  We worry that we're not good enough, pretty enough, talented ...

Life in ministry can cause this condition:   Yes, you heard right. Ministry life can cause a woman to join the banana bowl. In my ministry life, I have joined the banana bowl many times. At times, voluntarily. Other times, out of sheer necessity. You see, although in reality I might feel like an apple,  sometimes the situation calls for a banana. I totally believe that we should seek out, understand and embrace our God-given gifts. Our wise Creator has built into our DNA to passionately serve through these giftings and our ultimate purpose is, in part,  lived out using and growing these gifts.  However... There are times in ministry where we are called to step out of our "comfort zones" and function in areas that we don't necessarily feel strong or comfortable in. Perhaps we haven't had appropriate time to pray about it or even prepare in advance. Maybe the situation completely took yo...

I'm not sure why this is, but it is. I've observed this over and over throughout our ministry lives: Pastor's wives. Sitting alone in church. I've been trying to figure this out for a long time.  Partly because I'm a pastor's wife, and a pastor myself. Partly because, more often than not, I've sat alone for many years too. Partly because I'm an observer of people. It saddens me and fascinates me all at once. I know- weird. But why? It's probably logical right? The pastor is usually busy doing his thing on Sunday morning and his wife is left to navigate on her own, deal with the kids and often do ministry work as well. People have their own families, and usually, their fiercely claimed weekly pew (or chair). Let's admit it folks- we are creatures of habit....and comfort.  And there sits the pastor's wife. Usually towards the front somewhere- alone- or maybe with some kiddos to keep quiet. Usually Sundays ar...

Have you ever heard  someone use the phrase : God says He wouldn't ever give me more than I can handle. It makes me pause every time I hear this. It's actually not Biblical. The verse that people tend to get this idea is  from  I Corinthians 10:13:   No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also  provide a way out  so that you can endure it.  (NI V) This verse talks about  temptation  in particular.  If we were strong enough to handle temptation on our  own, we wouldn't need  God   to provide a way out  so  we could overcome it.  The  New Living Translation  puts it this way: If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall.   The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful....

Pastor's wives are people too. (A pastor's wife may actually be a guy- a pastor's husband- which brings unique challenges of it's own. But for the ease of writing, I'll just say "she" for now, but please know that the "she" really could be a "he" and the point is the same.) There are a lot of demands on her time and energy- just like you. She carries many burdens and try in earnest to give them to the Lord- just like you. She struggles with all the same stuff you do- yes, this is true. She may not play the piano or sing. She may be a welder. selah. She feels loneliness, sorrow, worry and fear- just like you. She makes mistakes and has regrets- just like you. She worries that she's bringing up her kids right- yes, this is true. She may not be an extrovert. And that's okay. selah. She is often asked to do way too much- just like you. She often wonders about the future- just li...